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About an hour ago, a big Salvation Army truck began backing gingerly down the (not terribly wide) communal driveway behind our house. I figured the baby would enjoy seeing what was making the beeping noise, so I took him out on the deck to watch.

He kicked his chubby little legs in excitement (easily one of the top five cutest things he does). I narrated the scene: “Look, the driver is being very careful! He’s backing up…. now he’s going forward a little bit. Ooh, the wheels are turning to the left! Now he’s going to go back some more!”

Riveting stuff, I know.

Baby Baboo (not his real name) has begun waving bye-bye, sort of: He will reliably flap his left arm up and down when you say “bye-bye!” and wave. Sort of an embryonic bye-bye wave, but still, I think it counts. This seemed like the perfect opportunity to practice.

I said “bye-bye,” and waved. He flapped his arm. We repeated this sequence a few times before the driver noticed us and started waving. We waved and flapped happily until the truck pulled away.

Good times, for sure. And I suspect the driver enjoyed it, too.

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Washing Instructions

Welcome back to Kvetchy Wednesday. Today we will be discussing laundry, specifically: The Heartbreak of Footie PJs.

I only recently began reading the washing instructions on the things, because, well, why would I need to? But the kid seemed to be growing out of them in a matter of weeks, even though he couldn’t possibly be getting bigger that quickly. I mean, 8 months old, and already outgrowing his size 9-month PJs? He’s long-legged like his daddy, but come on! Using the round thing on top of my neck, I deduced that they might be shrinking. Hm.

So this is the deal, from one of the latest batches of PJs:

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Inside out?! Really? No. Cold gentle cycle?! Not happening. Anyway. I have been boiling those things and then baking them, comparatively speaking. No wonder they’ve been shriveling up like the feet of the Wicked Witch of the West after Dorothy’s house fell on her. Or was it East? Because the house fell on the sister of the remaining wicked witch, right? East. I’m pretty sure it was East.

But I digress.

Here’s what I’m doing now, even though it seems ridiculous that I should have to: Cold water wash, line dry. On big people hangers, because that’s cuter. Here’s proof:

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Hopefully this will prevent me from having to buy him new PJs every two months. In all honesty, that isn’t a huge hardship, because: FOOTIE PJs! SO CUTE! AND I CAN BUY THEM ONLINE WHILE I’M IN MY PJs! THAT’S SO META! But it’s starting to bug me from a “needless spending” POV, and I don’t think anyone wants to read a Kvetchy Wednesday post about that. Boring!

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Back in April, or maybe May, we had our HVAC system checked for the coming summer. I answered the door with my newborn in my arms, and the guy mentioned that his wife was pregnant. Yesterday, the same guy turned up, only he’s not quite the same guy now because he has a two-week-old baby girl at home.

I asked if he wanted to see how ours had grown, and he said, “I’ve seen enough babies for now.” I laughed and said I had to fetch the kid anyway — can’t really leave him to his own devices for too long, ha ha.

The guy finished his testing, and as I was signing the paperwork he said, “I hope I didn’t offend you by saying I didn’t want to see your baby.” I assured him that if anyone understood that feeling, it was me. “You’re going through a crazy time. I’ve just been there. It’s overwhelming in lots of ways. Don’t worry about it.” I meant every word.

We chatted a bit about sleep deprivation, how his wife is holding up, what his baby girl is like, and the evils of video monitors (Him: “I’m not even going to mention to my wife that those exist.” Me: “Good call.”).

The last thing I said to him as he moaned (deservedly) one more time about sleep deprivation was something quite a few people said to me. It was one of the only things that really made sense to me in my addled state and helped me keep going.

“It gets better.”

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Sometimes when I’m driving with the baby in the back and he’s getting fussy, I’ll contort my right arm to reach back there (don’t judge — at stoplights!). I’ll waggle my fingers at the spot where I imagine the baby’s face to be, and he’ll grab my fingers. Then he shoves as much of my hand as he can into his mouth.

Just today, I recalled that my mom would reach her hand back from the front seat for one of us to hold, especially during long car trips. It might be the embellishment of time, but I remember my older brother and I fighting over who got to hold her hand. I remember feeling happy and safe whenever my hand was in hers.

And so the tradition continues.

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Artwork

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This lithograph was a baby gift from a good friend and her husband. It’s by W. Myers and is called “Your Move.” The nursery was previously known as the Indian Room because of, duh, all the Indian artwork on the walls. We are not the redecorating types, so this print was the only addition, and it fits in nicely.

I feed the baby in that glider, and when he seems to be done I turn him around to face me, partly to cuddle him and partly to see if he needs a burp. About a week ago, he looked up above my head, got a huge grin on his face, and then started giggling. He now does this after every feeding.

Easily the best five parts of my day.

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Last week, I realized our baseball team was in the playoffs, or nearly there. I’m not sure which because I don’t pay much attention to baseball, or any sports except sumo wrestling, which I’m sad to say is not covered on the nightly news like it is in Tokyo.

But anyway, I figured out that our team needed to win that night’s game to advance, and it had been a while since I’d sent a photo of the baby to my former coworkers. They are, generally speaking, baseball enthusiasts. I also knew there was at least one Cardinals shirt among the kid’s scads of Onesies, because this is a Baseball Town and he had received several, along with a teeny-tiny ball cap.

Late that afternoon, I plopped the baby on the bed, snapped a few shots, and sent the cutest one to my former colleagues. Our team won, and I was urged to dress the baby in the shirt again for the next game.

Next day, while doing my normal chores and simultaneously preparing for a weekend houseguest, i.e., frantically vacuuming during naps, I made a horrifying discovery when I went to shift the laundry. That little shirt, that cute, tiny red thing I know I had washed at least once before, had turned a bunch of stuff pink.

Yes, I know I should segregate my laundry. It’s just that most days, it doesn’t seem worth the effort.

Anyway, I tossed the load in the dryer and ceased to think of it.

Yes, I know I shouldn’t have done that if I was at all serious about ever trying to get that color out. Sleep deprived, people. Sleep. Deprived.

Next on the docket was a load of whites, and I figured, hey, maybe it’s worth throwing those pink bibs in there. Surely they’ll get lightened up a bit. Maybe they’ll even come out white.

Friends, that is not what happened. What happened was, the evil dye from that evil little shirt transferred from the three pink items onto the rest of the whites. Except for my husband’s button-down shirts — let’s hear it for cotton-poly blends!

But that little shirt had gone too far. I went on the warpath, by which I mean I Googled “dye remover” and went to the store I thought might have it. Success. I bought three boxes along with a bottle of wine (for the house guest!), came home and opened up the box to read the instructions. And that’s when I learned that you can’t use the stuff in a front-loading machine. Of course.

Ten minutes later, I had a big pot of water and dye remover simmering on the stove and was wearing rubber gloves. I dipped item after item into it, stirring constantly with my long wooden spoon per the instructions and feeling like a witch over her brew thanks to the semi-noxious smell (they’re not kidding about adequate ventilation).

It worked. It worked so fast and so well it took some of the original dye off a few things. Folks, I’m here to tell you Rit Dye Remover is your friend, and it’s on sale at the Esquire Schnucks.

And now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go make sure that cute, evil little shirt is in with the dark load so the baby can wear it for the next game.

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At the grocery store I seem to visit almost daily (sometimes, I admit, out of boredom) there is a checkout guy who likes to sing. He’s quite good, and funny, and even if I don’t go through his lane, hearing and seeing him never fails to cheer me up or make me happier.

He’s always at the self-checkout lanes, which I can’t always go through, but yesterday I did. We got to talking about the baby, the baseball playoffs (our team is in the running) and the other kids he sees. Then he started laughing kind of hard.

Seems one day he had a little boy of about six in his lane, and he sang him “Take Me Out to the Ballgame,” a song the little boy did not yet know. This guy likes to change the words to the songs he sings, and that’s one of the reasons it’s so fun to hear him.

That night, the boy’s dad was delighted to hear him sing the song, though he was puzzled as to why, instead of peanuts and Cracker Jack, he sang, “buy me some chitlins and mustard greens.”

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Breaking the Rules

Earlier today I went to Trader Joe’s with the baby, because a) I go stir-crazy if I don’t leave the house at least once a day, and b) we actually needed a few things. When I got out of the car, I looked down and swore, because I was wearing this:

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It’s not that I don’t like the shirt — I love it, I think it’s hilarious, and I will always cherish it because my little brother had it designed and printed just for me. But it’s against my Clothing Rules. There are certain shirts, bras, and pairs of pants I don’t allow myself to leave the house in because they’re just not up to public appearances, and this is one of them.

In other news, the baby has spent the entire day in his PJs, and I don’t see the point of putting him in something else this late in the day. This is against the Baby Clothing Rules. There’s no punishment for breaking either set of rules, which is good, because its much too nice of a day to be punished.

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Dad the Rock Star

Last Friday, I’d been trying and trying to get the baby to eat, and he’d been looking left and right and up at the ceiling, clammed up like Fort Knox. It had been a long day full of the particular kind of fun that only teething can bring, and I was pretty much wrung out.

Daddy waltzed in from work, asked if I’d like him to try, and of course I said, “Be my guest. Good luck.” I stood aside, or maybe I left the room to fling myself on the couch. Can’t recall — this was days and days ago.

The moment my husband sat down and waved the spoon of rice cereal in front of the baby’s nose, the little bugger was all, “Absolutely. Happy to. How much more? Bring it on! I’d also like all of that new food Mama’s been trying to get me interested in.”

I told this story to a family member, who asked if it made me mad that the baby ate better for my husband than for me. No, I replied, this is why the baby has two parents. It’s also why I’ll be doing my best to set my frustrations aside whenever I sit down in front of the high chair. He knows.

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I took this a few days ago during a walk with the baby, thinking it would be a good thing to have when the days aren’t quite so pretty anymore.

Happy Monday, happy Fall, happy-happy joy-joy, y’all!

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