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Archive for the ‘Milestones’ Category

Christmas Memories

20130117-091053.jpgYes, it was nearly a month ago. Yes, I should be writing a post about the baby’s (very exciting!) haircut or how I can’t believe he’s 11 months old now. But Christmas is what I can’t stop thinking about.

Well, not the holiday itself, so much as a few things that happened during ours.

We have a photo of my nieces on the fridge. A couple of times a day, we take the baby by it and say their names. You know, “This is Blanche. That’s Matilda.” When we arrived at their house, Baboo had had half an hour of his usual four hours of nap time. He was discombobulated. And when he saw my older niece, his face completely lit up.

The girls had a lot of questions about the baby. Can he stand? Does he talk? What can he eat? I told the almost-four niece he could have tiny bits of bread. Every so often, she’d hand me a crumb and say it was for the baby. I would thank her profusely.

The girls helped me give the baby a bath. Okay, they watched and said cute things. But the older niece (six) asked if she could get a towel for him, and I said yes, that would be very helpful. She came back with a (very lovely) hand towel. Small creature, small towel, right?

My younger niece said Baboo could play with her Duplos (which he loved) but not her new, Christmas Duplos, because she didn’t want him putting chew marks in them. Fair enough. The kid is a gnawing machine. And she’s almost-four.

The baby met many, many family members, and with most of them, he was his usual reserved self. But he seemed to really connect with two people: My cousin’s wife, who is tall and pretty and has long, blond hair (which he had never seen); and a dear old friend who was born with some sort of baby and kid magic. By the end of the visit, Baboo was reaching out to his face, something he only does with me, my husband and my mom.

My husband, the baby and I stayed in my older niece’s room. A few times, I said to her, “Blanche, thank you so much for sharing your room with us, it’s so nice of you.” Each time, she shrugged and say, “It’s okay, I’ve done it before.” We were there for nine days, and every time she needed to go in there to get a pair of socks or a book or a toy, she would come ask one of us if it was okay. Nine. Days. Six years old. That is one well-raised little girl.

After either Christmas Eve or Christmas night dinner (it’s hazy, because both were grand affairs with phenomenal food, lovely wine and The Good Plates), we sat around discussing (among other things) babies. There were folks there who will have some, and folks who already have them. There were a lot of lovely things said about feeling the baby move and holding the baby for the first time.
I sat there mostly listening, and thinking about the shock of the size of the love you feel for your kid. How you think falling in love with your partner is the most amazing set of feelings you will ever feel, and how you realize once the kid comes along how puny that is in comparison. It’s not that it isn’t fabulous, the love you have for your co-pilot, but it seems like a speck of dust in comparison to the Louvre that is Baby Love.

Happy holidays ex post facto, y’all. Hope yours were as tender-sweet-delicious as ours.

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First steps, first word, first solid food. These are all very exciting, but there are smaller milestones that really should be covered in baby books because of what they mean to a parent.

– The first time your baby feeds you. This happened in our house this morning. Best damn Cheerio I ever tasted.

– The day your baby can sit up in the front of a shopping cart. No more lugging that unbelievably heavy car seat into the store if you can’t find a parking spot next to a cart corral that has a cart in it. No more extended positioning sessions to figure out if it’s better to perch it on the front of the cart, or put it in the cart and wedge your groceries in around it. Even if he’s strapped in tight up under his armpits and slumping a little to one side, this scenario is vastly preferable to playing Sherpa every time you need a carton of milk. Apparently this was a big one for me.

– The first time your baby understands that he can open a cabinet door. This happened today. I might have cussed.

– The first time your baby understands that his fingers can get pinched by a cabinet door. Also today. The baby definitely cussed.

– The first time your baby stretches his arms out to you when you reach down and say “up.” Even if those little arms go out to the sides instead of in your direction, you know what the baby means. Yes, please, up, I want to see, I want to be with you, let’s go. Oof!

I’m sure there are some I’m forgetting, and more coming, but these will do nicely for now. And honestly, I’m a little scared about the whole walking thing.

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Ever since he started crawling a few weeks ago, the baby has been far more interested in real-world stuff than any bright plastic gadget. Thus I present for posterity a few of his favorite things, most of which have been freshly and hastily cleaned.

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Suckers!

Big dog, Amsterdam, March 2011.

Something happened to my relationship with our dog Jim when I got pregnant. It was as if all my emotional energy was immediately channeled to the embryo. Oh sure, I’d feed him and walk him (we don’t have a yard), but I just didn’t have the mental space or enthusiasm for him that I used to.

A few months after the baby was born, Jim’s laryngeal paralysis got much worse and we had to put him down. Basically, he was slowly suffocating to death in front of my eyes. So I was far more upset about watching him suffer, and feeling responsible for that suffering, than I was about letting him go.

And now that the baby is crawling and the weather is cold and will soon be utterly awful, whenever I see my neighbors walking their dogs all I can think is, “better you than me, sucker!” Dogs are great and all, and I suppose we’ll have another one at some point, when we live in a house with a yard and the baby is old enough to at least attempt to help with dog care. But right now, I’m really grateful that our house is animal-free.

Weekly floor care is plenty, thanks.

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Nine Months

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The baby has now been on the planet for about as long as I carried him in my body. He is a wiggly, bouncy, crawly delight with five teeth and a giggle that gets me where I live. His coos are balm for my soul, and I cannot imagine anything sweeter than snuggling his neck first thing in the morning.

Hm. The clichés don’t do it justice. But if I think about how amazing it was to be in Paris with my husband, going up in the monuments at night and strolling the streets while eating pastries in the morning, and concentrate that and multiply it by a googleplex, that’s pretty close to how this baby makes me feel.

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Yesterday, after weeks of scooching around with one leg in front, rocking on his hands and knees but going back to sitting up, and generally not being all that motivated, the baby started crawling. With a vengeance, if that’s possible.

As with the clapping, he busted out this new skill while I was in the kitchen, paying just enough attention to make sure he wasn’t going to bash his head on the floor. A favored toy had rolled away, and nothing else was within easy reach. He sat there for a moment, looking from toy to toy. He looked at me. I said “Hi,” I think.

Then he took off on all fours, both legs behind him, cruised over to what he wanted, and sat down Iike it was no big deal. I cheered.

Today, of course, he is everywhere, going after everything. The heating vent, the door to the deck, that lovely but very pointy table in the photo above. When he went down for his first nap, I moved things and mopped and began mentally bracing myself for the beginning of a new era in which our primary goal is to keep him safe. While letting him explore. And only using the pack-n-play to contain him when it’s really necessary.

At times like this, when I feel fear and doubt taking over, I like to think of my friends who have triplets. And my cousin who has twins. Surely, if they made it through this, so will we.

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If anything is going to stand in the way of me being the best parent I can be, it’s that I’m a Virgo. Granted, there are advantages to this sign: Attention to detail, very logical, excellent at creating order from chaos, yadda-yadda. But the flip side of liking order and a certain level of cleanliness in the kitchen means I live in fear of teaching the baby to feed himself. Embarrassing, but true.

I’ve been letting him play with the spoon, and putting bits of food on it to reward him for getting the right end in his mouth. And I sit there cringing every single time, damp rag clutched in one hand, the other hand poised to shield my face from flying sweet potato. Imagine the state I’ll be in once I let him really go at it.

It’s kind of sad, actually. This should be a fun time, a happy time. But how to achieve that?

Maybe I should drape the kitchen in old sheets for a few months. Or hire a professional cleaning crew after he gets really good at it. Or just redo the kitchen.

Ah. See? Virgos really are logical!

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If the Cheerios appeared in a manga, they would look like this. Thanks, Manga Camera!

A few weeks ago, there was a development just as exciting as the clapping, but in a different way: The baby learned how to feed himself Cheerios.

Similarly to the clapping, it happened pretty fast. First, I’d put them in his mouth so he knew they were food. Then I encouraged him when he picked them up and dropped them, or got them stuck on his face, or lost one inside his wee chubby fist. (This only ever happened with his right hand. Seems we might have another Southpaw in the house!)

At first, he’d hang on to them and suck them into goo instead of releasing them into his drooly maw. Very funny, and probably a necessary step in understanding the mechanics of self-feeding, so I let him be. Over the space of a few days, his pincer grasp became more precise and he mastered the art of delivering the little oaty Os to his mouth.

Within a few days, he became fully capable of eating them on his own, unless he’s really tired. And then, it’s both amusing and sad to watch him try, and I end up taking what my mom calls the Holy Communion approach. This is very high on the CS (Cute Scale) because he does the baby bird thing.

Anyway. This is all very exciting not only because he’s perfecting his pincer grasp (Big! Developmental! Milestone!), but because he will happily occupy himself with tiny edible rings while I prepare the rest of his food, or prepare our food, or do my nails.

Kidding about the last one, but there may come a day when I’m not. Is it possible for a baby to OD on Cheerios? Oh right, it’s called constipation.

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For a few days, I’d been clapping along to the (short, slightly annoying, electronic) songs issuing from the musical table. Then I’d clap and say “yay!” when the song ended. Baby Baboo (not his real name) would look at me and flap his arms in excitement. He loves that table and all the noises that come out of it.

Yesterday afternoon, around three, he was playing at the table by himself while I was cooking. He seemed to be banging his hands together whenever a song ended.

Hoy crap, I thought, I think he’s clapping. I started pausing my work to clap along with him whenever he clapped. He clapped with me, over and over, and got better at it as he kept doing it.

I almost cried. I’m completely serious.

A few hours later, when I was feeding him, he started clapping after every bite. Which was of course adorable unless I didn’t get the yogurt spoon out of the way fast enough, and then it was adorable and messy.

Maybe I shouldn’t have started saying, “Y for yogurt! Y for yummy!” Y for yay!” after every spoonful of yogurt…

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Seven and a half months ago, my baby was legally blind. Now he makes eye contact with me from across the room.

When he was born, he would look around for the source of a sound. Now he giggles when I sing “Pattycake” to him.

He always liked to noodle with his hands (hence the early nickname of Mr. Burns). This morning he held and inspected a spoon for a good five minutes.

And as of today, I’ve been married for five years.

All utterly mind-blowing. In the best possible way.

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