Posted in Daily Life, Uncategorized, tagged childhood, parenting on February 11, 2016| 2 Comments »
Lately there have been bits of unexpected beauty popping up in the house thanks to the Boo.
First up, the giant paint swirl he made after I gave him a bunch of small pots of paint:
Then, the aesthetically pleasing line of paint pots he made when I asked him to put a few colors back: 
And finally, my personal favorite, the sculpture that appeared after I asked him to put his breakfast plate in the sink: 
Enjoy, friends — and happy February.
Posted in mama life hacks, Uncategorized, tagged humor, Kids, life hacks, motherhood, parenting on January 24, 2016| 4 Comments »
During my years in the advertising industry (and yes it was exactly like Mad Men, suckers!) I picked up the phrase “pay yourself first.” I’ve adopted it as one of my Mama mantras, though in my world the payments are made in time and energy instead of money.
Case in point: I just quit one of the best bands I’ve ever been in. It was the perfect setup for me: someone else running it, two rehearsals or so a month, gigs 3 or 4 times a year. But even with that low level of involvement, I felt like I was scrambling to find the time to learn my parts. Shows were stressful because I never felt as prepared as I wanted to be. And since little kids don’t sleep in, I spent two days recovering from staying up past my bedtime.
So when the first “let’s rehearse” email of the year came through, I spent a few days pondering what to do. I loved rehearsing with the guys. All interesting, great musicians and lovely people. But that, I realized, was all I really loved about it. And meanwhile, projects I’ve been meaning to start have gone untouched. So I called the band leader, explained my reasons, and quit.
I pay myself first in small ways, too. One morning when the Boo woke me up at 5, I was feeling particularly harried. I set a ten-minute timer and told my kid I needed some privacy until the timer rang. And then I locked myself in the bathroom.
After my three-minute makeup routine, I set about filing my nails. Seriously, they were ragged. A couple of times, I heard him call for me from his room. I went on filing my nails. He came and knocked on the door, saying he needed me. I said I would be out soon. He went away, came back, knocked again. I repeated myself.
The timer went off soon after that, and it turns out my son had knocked because he wanted me to play a new, particularly silly game with him. So I did, wholeheartedly, which I wouldn’t have been able to do had I not paid myself first.
It’s impossible to say whether quitting the band will lead to me publishing my first book. But I know that taking even small bits of time for myself gives me the energy reserves I need to be a better mom. And obviously I can’t always pay myself first — no one can/that’s just life/suck it up.
But that’s why there are cartoons, darlings! And venting sessions with other parents! And wine!
Posted in Daily Life, Uncategorized, tagged childhood, children, motherhood, parenting on September 29, 2015| Leave a Comment »
You grew an inch in the past six weeks, but did not gain any weight despite consuming spoons of peanut butter on a regular basis.
You selected the colors for Mama’s most recent pedicure:
You started a five-mornings-a-week program at your school and are adjusting well, though Mama has noticed that you are more apt to want to cuddle with her. You also seem to have forgotten how to wash your hands at home.
You are enthralled by the Madeline books, a taste you come by honestly — Mama loved them when she was your age.
You talk about death a lot, saying things like, “I don’t want to die,” and “Do you want to die, Mama?” This has been going on, off and on, for at least six months, but this time it’s more intense. We are being honest and kind with our answers, so you know that everyone dies but usually when they’re very old or sick.
You seem to be enjoying school, though it’s a bit tough to tell since you have made a game of not telling us anything about your day. You insist for example that you don’t know who you sat next to at snack, or that it’s a secret.
You sometimes share details of your day in transitory moments, like the car on the way home from school. The other day you divulged that you had declared your love for a girl in your class. Another day, you excitedly taught Mama a new song while we were walking across the parking lot after school.
You want to go to our little neighborhood park every day.
You love the Sound of Music soundtrack and know most of the words to most of the songs. We know this because we overhear you singing them when you think we’re not paying attention.
You have developed a serious nail-biting habit. The paint-on remedy is not doing much to deter you. Mama is considering digging out the teething toys.
You are reasonably proficient at putting your clothes on, though whenever you get your underwear or shorts backwards you leave them that way, declaring that’s how you like to wear them.
You’ve started your first session of swim lessons without Mama in the water with you, and your teacher says you’re doing great. It helps that you have a buddy from school in the class — so you both have a friend to splash.
You named a bunch of adults, including Mama and Daddy, when asked who your friends are.
You asked a teacher — from another class — if she loves you. (She said she does.)
You asked both your teachers if they will miss you when you go home.
You asked Mama if she misses you when she’s walking down the stairs with you.
You clearly have a lot going on in that sweet little noggin.
Posted in Daily Life, Entertainment, Uncategorized, tagged childhood, motherhood, parenting on July 22, 2015| Leave a Comment »
“This sounds like The Clash!” (It was.)
***
“This sounds like Mickey Mouse Clubhouse!” (It was Stevie Wonder’s Sir Duke, which also starts with a nice thick blast of horns.)
***
“Who is this?” “Steven Tyler.” “That sounds like Stevie Wonder!”
***
“Why is he yelling?” (It was Steven Tyler.)
***
“This is the Rolling Stones. It’s called ‘Time is On My Side. What do you think?”
“It’s yucky.”
***
“I want Red Vines!”
“It’s my turn to pick.”
“Okay Mama. You pick Red Vines.”
***
Posted in Daily Life, Uncategorized, tagged childhood, Kids, motherhood, parenting, preschoolers on June 29, 2015| 2 Comments »
The officiant at rest.
Yesterday, the Boo wanted to know what getting married meant. I told him that when you love someone very much, you might want to stay with them forever. And if you do, you can ask them if they want to marry you. And if they say yes, you get married.
This morning, he said he wanted to marry me.
I said yes, and then we set about finding an officiant. He asked his stuffed tiger, but it said no. Fortunately, the hippo he asked next agreed to perform the ceremony.
After some very brief vows, the hippo declared us to be married. Then the Boo said, “Now we need to get all married up!” As it turns out, that means that you exchange lots of kisses on various part of your faces. But the kisses only count as kisses if you pop your mouth open really wide like a fish after you give them.
Shortly after that, he said it was time to get unmarried. We achieved this by taking the kisses off with a special sort of drill. He said it wouldn’t hurt. It didn’t, maybe because I couldn’t even see the drill.
I negotiated to keep one kiss.
Posted in Daily Life, Uncategorized, tagged childhood, Kids, motherhood, parenting on June 22, 2015| Leave a Comment »
You have an imaginary friend. His name is the same as Daddy’s and he seems to be very similar to you, though sometimes he is potty trained and sometimes not.
You are fond of telling us when other kids are violating some rule or safety guideline.
You are in the process of dropping your afternoon nap. We know this because when you sleep for longer than an hour you struggle to fall asleep at night and then wake up early. The good news: when your nap is an hour or less, you sleep for 10-11 hours at night.
You still refuse most veggies and all meat and dairy products, though you did eat most of a snow pea we grew on the deck.
You are tall enough to turn lights on and off.
You still adore playing with water and containers on the deck, even in 90-plus temps.
You are completely potty trained when awake, and wake up dry from naps about 20% of the time. We don’t even have to haul the seat insert with us when we leave the house anymore.
You asked what a gun is. You were told it’s a very noisy thing for grownups only. The noise is why it’s not allowed in stores or schools or other public places.
You seem to be enjoying summer camp, though you rarely tell us what you do there. When asked what the music teacher sang one day, you whispered, “it’s a secret.”
You have grown half an inch and gained a pound over the last two months. You are also outgrowing your summer sandals, but happily Mama was able to find the same pair in the next size up.
You are no longer willing to ride in shopping carts unless you are extremely tired.
You have seen the original Sesame Street and was amused that Mama liked it so much.
You went to the science center and spent most of your time there watching the Omnimax projector. When it was time to go, you negotiated to stay until the projector went back up into the ceiling.
You know that things die when they get old.
You have asked if your Grammie is going to die. You were told yes, but not for a long time.
You asked if you were going to die. You were told no, because Mama thinks you already have enough to worry about (you are currently concerned about storms, tornadoes and fires).
Posted in Milestones, Uncategorized, tagged childhood, children, Kids, motherhood, parenting, preschool on April 21, 2015| Leave a Comment »
To say that the Boo has grown tremendously throughout his first school year is like saying chocolate is good. Massive understatement.
In the beginning, he would not only cry when I left but wander around like a lost, weepy lamb. This, despite a goodbye ritual that included a reading of The Very Hungry Caterpillar and a series of kisses and hugs and a lovey to comfort him in my absence. At one point, there was discussion of whether we should pull him out of school for a while. Instead, we decided to try adding a few more tricks to the bag — a photo of me to look at, a favorite CD. It was early November.
Shortly after we expanded the comfort program, right after Thanksgiving, something clicked for the kiddo. He didn’t cry as I left. He started blowing me kisses goodbye. He began to find his place among his friends. We kept up with reading The Very Hungry Caterpillar, though, partly because I enjoyed it so much — his classmates would cluster around us, chiming in on their favorite parts and beaming like only little kids can beam.
A few weeks ago we dropped the book reading from the routine. Then we started doing our kisses and hugs in the hallway so the Boo can walk into his classroom like the big boy he’s become. Every time, we stop a bit further away, backing slowly toward more independence.
One day about a month ago, the Boo came home with a bright orange flyer pinned to his backpack. Photo Day was coming, it said. Here are the 88 choices of print packages. Once I settled on a reasonable option and wrote a check, my thoughts turned to The Outfit. Surely something with a collar for Baby’s First School Photo. Shirt and tie? Polo shirt?
I decided to involve the Boo by presenting a few possibilities the morning of Photo Day. I explained what a big deal the photo was, that both grandmas would have a copy, that it would be a good idea to wear something fancy. He considered the choices I held up and rejected them all, insisting instead that he wanted to wear the pajama shirt he had on:
I didn’t fight him. Why bother, when he picked the perfect reminder of how far he’s come since September?
Posted in Daily Life, Uncategorized, tagged childhood, Kids, learning, parenting on February 7, 2015| Leave a Comment »
Last week, we paid a visit to the MySci bus, a roving interactive science experience housed in a tractor-trailer. We were in there for approximately 90 seconds, because small spaces filled with loud people are not the Boo’s thing. At all. So we missed out on that particular enrichment opportunity.
But I’m not worried about what we missed because in the past week, the Boo has been bursting with questions about science. Herewith, a list of our topics and my explanations:
– Why a spoon gets hot when you put it next to the dishwasher vent (the heat likes to jump to the spoon because it’s made of metal).
– Why and how eyes move (thank you, Internet, for excellent anatomical diagrams) and how the brain makes that happen (it sends messages that are so fast you don’t even know they’re being sent).
– Why plumbers cost a lot of money
Me: They know a lot of special things about pipes and faucets, so we have to pay them a lot.
Boo: If they don’t know so many stuff… do we pay less?
– Why light helps us see (it bounces off everything).
– Where wind comes from (the sky, storms, fans, hands that are waving really fast).
– How the heart works (I used my fist as a model and said “lub-dub, lub-dub.”)
Maybe next time we’ll enjoy the MySci bus a bit more, but for now I think I’m doing pretty well explaining physics and biology at a preschool level.
Posted in Daily Life, Uncategorized, tagged childhood, motherhood, parenting on January 24, 2015| 3 Comments »
One day, about six months ago I think, I was singing to the Boo. I don’t know the real title of the song, and I changed the words to half the verse because I couldn’t remember them. But one part was true to the original:
When you’re not near me, I’m blue
I had sung this to my kid many times before, but on this occasion, he stopped me and asked why I was blue, not yellow or green. After I stopped laughing, I said, “It means when my little boy is far away, I get sad.”
“Do you cry, Mama?”
“Sure, I guess so, yes.”
He sprang up from my lap, giggling, and put himself in the farthest corner of the room.
“Are you blue, Mama?”
I said yes, I was indeed blue.
“Are you going to cry, Mama?”
“Yes, yes I am.”
I did my best fake cry. And he laughed.
“Cry some more, Mama.”
He waited until I had gotten myself thoroughly worked up. I had taken a couple of breaks to peek at him, and each time he commanded me to cry some more. Finally, he decided he should put me out of my misery and ran to me, hurling himself into my arms.
Since that day, he has periodically asked me to play “the blue game” with him. He requires me to cry ever more theatrically, for longer periods, before he will launch himself from across the room.
It is my favorite game, ever.
Posted in Daily Life, Uncategorized, tagged childhood, humor, love, motherhood on December 21, 2014| 2 Comments »
I know, it’s Hanukah and Christmas and I should be writing about that, or how weird it is that the Boo has absorbed a bunch of Santa lore by osmosis. But while I bake and wrap and pack and ship, Merry Merry HO HO is not what bubbles up when I think about what I want to write about.
About a month ago, the hubs suggested I take a night class at a local university, to get some time for myself. I was so touched, I almost teared up. I considered it, but between the cost and my lack of time to study, I opted to get an extra swimming session in.
Last weekend, we moved an old compact stereo to the Boo’s room so he can muck with it and yell into the Karaoke mike to his little heart’s content. The hubs went to fetch a few CDs, and then I heard it. Mannheim Steamroller Christmas. Or maybe Trans-Siberian Orchestra. Either way: Oh God no please make it stop. I’m not even sure the hubs knew how much I detest that “music” but he probably has a clue now since I made sure he saw one of my 88 eyerolls.
But. He loves it. He was dancing to it. And, because Daddy is Cool, the Boo was dancing too. Having a fabulous time with his adored Daddy. So I did the kindest thing I could think of to do. I walked away.
Last week, as I was gathering the 888 things the Boo needed for an overnight at his Grammie’s while mentally scrambling to put together a date night outfit, he came to find me. He was beaming, seriously, grinning and so, so very proud. And smeared with an impressive amount of Aquaphor (basically Vaseline) from his nipples to the top of his diaper. His shirt and pants had gotten in the way, so they were also, um, very well moisturized.
I gasped, a little confused, and then it hit me: I had put some of the stuff on his belly to soothe the rug burn he’d given himself sliding down the stairs. He was proud because he’d taken care of himself. He was happy because he’d done it all by himself. All of those thoughts flew through my head, and then I started laughing, because it really was very funny.
Friends, you can keep your menfolk who bring you flowers for no reason. I’ll keep mine, and let my heart fill with love whenever I get to swim laps on a weeknight. And I will show my love by leaving the room when a good Daddy-son session is centered on music I can’t stand. And if the Boo ever anoints himself again, I’ll do my best to react with love — toward myself, for being silly enough to leave the Aquaphor where he can get to it.
My journey to becoming a dietitian and other cool stuff
Living The Road Less Travelled
Mama-Come-Lately 