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One of the first books I remember really enjoying was a grade-school-level biography of Florence Nightingale. It covered her service as a nurse in the Crimean War, and as I recall, it was kind of gory — or at least, that’s how I remember it. But that could also be the Geraldo Rivera book about survivors of awful plane crashes and natural disasters that I sought out not long after.

This early fascination with medical issues is now focused on Baboo. I’m not obsessive about it, just very interested in understanding the mechanics of teething and speech and movement. For the latter, one of my favorite sites is The Physical Baby.

It’s written by an early intervention physical therapist and infant massage instructor who explains things like why tummy time is so important and what to do if your baby is having a hard time batting at toys. The tone is professional yet approachable, and I always learn something interesting from her posts, like why a baby’s feet move so much when they’re just sitting there (it has to do with the difficulty of isolating muscle groups).

She also covers topics like which toys are worth buying from a physical development perspective, something I appreciate. And she’s very responsive to questions posted on her Facebook page — a great boon if you’re worried about something your baby is doing (or not doing).

A few weeks back, I caught Drew Barrymore on Ellen. Charmingly daffy as always, she nattered on about her angelic baby girl and whipped up some vegan pasta for her hostess.

A few days ago, while trolling one of my mental check-out sites (you know you have a few), I read a few excerpts from this article.

In it, she talks about tie-dyeing her baby’s leggings during naps and developing a line of cosmetics for Walmart while she was pregnant. Because, you know, that’s what you do when you’re pregnant, right? But none of that bothered me nearly as much as this:

“When my daughter was born, I thought to myself, ‘How do I go past infinity with my efforts and care?’ “

Um, Drew. Honey. We all love you and understand that you’re not terribly hooked into reality, but come on. Throw us real mamas a bone. Talk about being exhausted at least once. Whine about something other than how to shield your daughter from the media’s glare. Acknowledge the mind-numbing, repetitive, occasionally terrifying drudgery of the first four months of caring for a baby.

I can only hope she did talk about those things and that they got edited out. I know she’s a celebrity with tons of hired help and organic grocery delivery and whatnot, but I’m still hopeful that underneath all her “mommyhood is a non-stop delight train” mumbo-jumbo there’s just a little bit of realness.

Bahahahaaaaa!

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With Baboo about to hit the year mark, I’ve been thinking about not just how mind-blowing his growth and development have been, but how much has changed for me. Herewith, a brief list:

– From creeping up the stairs (I had a C-section) to finding reasons to hike up and down them, the better to burn a few calories.

– From utter anxiety about the baby gaining weight to trusting that he’ll tell me when he’s hungry or full, if only by taking off his bib.

– From wolfing down cereal bars for breakfast to having one as an occasional treat.

– From a robe to maternity sweatpants to maternity pants to real jeans.

– From charting every feeding, nap and diaper change to thinking, “Hey, it’s been four or five hours since his last bottle.”

– From zombielike staring at the video monitor to sometimes forgetting to turn it on.

– From washing bottles twice a day to washing them every other day.

– From crying at dog food commercials to crying at the thought of any commercial with a baby in it.

See, now, that last one is going to make my Aunt Paulette think I’m depressed. I’m not — it’s just that sometimes my emotional river overflows its banks. And since I’ve long been a fan of feeling my feelings, that’s yet another change that’s fine with me.

Diving Back In

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Decades ago (!) I switched my major from undeclared liberal arts to vocal performance with a minor in French. I found out much later that my mom took a certain amount of crap for “letting” me do such an impractical thing.

It was one of the best decisions I ever made, to spend four years studying something I love instead of choosing a “safe” path. And for the record: I was able to remain gainfully employed for as long as I chose to, doing something that had nothing to do with my major.

Anyway. This isn’t really about my decision to become a teenage opera major. It’s about my decision to return to the stage after a few years away. It’s time to use my degree outside the house again, y’all!

So mark your calendar: I’ll be singing backup for Three Fried Men at 9 p.m. on Wednesday, February 27, at Nico. TFM is the house band for Poetry Scores, an international organization based in St. Louis that translates poetry into other media. You can expect a set of folk-rock settings of world poetry and folklore.

The event will start at 5; it’s a fundraiser for the next album from the local legend, the one and only Fred Friction. Here’s a Facebook page with a heap of information about the evening, which includes a silent auction, raffles, and live musical entertainment beginning with Irene Sullivan at 6 p.m. I hear tell there will also be special yummies available for purchase — more information on that as I get it.

Hope to see you there! And if you can’t make it but feel moved to contribute, you can visit the project’s indiegogo page.

Well, dear readers, in this breathless post I promised you an update on bifocal contacts. So here it is: They pretty much suck and are worthless.

See, pun intended, if you correct one eye for distance and one eye for reading, there’s a lot of territory left uncovered by both corrections. So if I wanted to see clearly far away, no problem. If I wanted to see clearly about 18 inches in front of my face, again, no problem.

But the middle distances, like, oh, across the room where the baby might be plugging his fingers into an outlet, were fuzzy and hazy and a lot of work to bring into focus. And the very close range, such as my baby’s sweet face? A total loss.

Also: I had no idea how much tiredness my glasses frames were covering for me.

And so, dear readers, that’s how I ended up with perhaps the grooviest pair of bifocals ever:

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Breathtaking

During a few spare minutes, I relaxed on the kitchen floor, back against the cabinet, knees bent. Baboo came over and pulled up to standing with astonishing fluidity and confidence. One hand let go of my corduroys. Then the other. He weaved side to side ever so gently, a look of revelation on his face. His hands found my leg again within seconds, but in those few moments I gasped and then held my breath.

Standing. My baby was standing.

The Big Snip

My husband Mowgli (not his real name) is from Southern India, and as such, has certain traditions he follows when it comes to babies. Among these: Not cutting the baby’s hair for the first 11 months. Here’s some information on the custom if you’re curious.

I do not share my husband’s beliefs, but I support them, as he supports mine. Which is why I did my best to keep my kvetching to a dull roar during the four or five months I had to deal with the baby’s increasingly unruly hair. Here’s the kvetchitude post on that in case you missed it.

The date of Baboo’s haircut was fixed by consulting the Hindu astrological calendar. Rather, my mother-in-law, who lives in India, consulted a priest who consulted said calendar. If we lived there, we would likely have had a ceremony in a temple, but since we don’t, we simply plunked the baby in his high chair, put some Cheerios in front of him, and started snipping.

My mother was on hand to help us — a good thing, because not only was my husband sick, but she used to cut my and my brothers’ hair, and my hair cutting experience is limited to clumsy attempts at giving myself bangs in the mid ’80s. This is something I should never attempted, as I have a massive cowlick.

Grammie and I took turns making sure the baby was distracted by the aforementioned Cheerios or a glass of water while the other one wielded the scissors and tried to neither stab the baby in the neck nor give him a bowl cut. These twin goals were rendered more difficult to achieve by the baby’s insistence on whipping his head around to find the source of the snipping sounds.

Every last bit of hair we cut off Baboo’s little noggin was deposited on a paper towel so that it could be bundled with some money in a hankie that had been soaked in turmeric water and dried. This package will be sent to Mowgli’s mom so she can take it to a temple and do what needs to be done with it to complete the process.

After half an hour, with Baboo starting to get fussy, we called it good. There are a few spots we’re going to refine, but generally, we now have a baby who looks much more like a little boy than an infant.

And yes, that means I cried a little when I stepped back to look at the overall effect and recognized the transformation. Because even though I was more than done with being a baby hair wrangler, I don’t think I’ll ever be done with thinking of my baby as a bay-bee.

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Narration

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Look, it’s the trash truck! Oops, he went by really fast. But listen, can you hear the truck? He went down to get our neighbors’ trash, but he’ll be back, don’t you worry.

Oh look, he’s turning around very carefully! He’s picking up our trash bin! Up, up, up, up, up, aaaaaaand over! Bye-bye trash! And now he’s bringing it down, down, down, and setting it down very gently. What a good trash man!

And now he’s picking up our neighbor’s bin! Up, up, up…

You get the idea. It was actually quite exciting, for both of us.

Where’s George?

For Christmas, because he loves buttons, zippers and shoelaces, my mom gave Baboo a learn-to-dress monkey we promptly named George. He’s awfully cute:

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The other day, just for kicks, I asked the baby, “Where’s George?” For more kicks, I added, “Go find George!”

He got up, peg-legged his way over to George, and smashed his face into the monkey’s face — his equivalent, I think, of a hug.

I sat on the kitchen floor with my mouth hanging open for a moment before saying, “What a smart baby you are!” A few days ago, he did it again when a friend was visiting.

Later, I thought about all of this and realized a few things:

– We were in the kitchen, and George was in the dining room, at least 15 feet away, and he was slumped on his side (we often sit him up because he’s so damn cute).
– George has been around for just over three weeks and is not a constant plaything; more like one of a cast of rotating characters.
– We use the monkey’s name perhaps every other day.

So after roughly a dozen usages of the name in reference to the monkey, not only does the baby know the monkey’s name, but he understands “where” and “go get it.”

Things are about to get really fun around here.

You are eleven months old.

You like to steal dish towels off the stove when you think Mama’s not looking. But you are such a good boy that if she says “ah-ah” you move away from the oven. You might make a little noise about it, but you do move.

You are very amused by the game of peekaboo.

You love sweet potatoes, carrots, green beans, peas, pears, peaches, applesauce, bananas and Cheerios. You will eat Cheerios and bread with your fingers but you do not recognize small pieces of fruit and veggies as food, unless they’re on a spoon.

You take your bottles facing outward on Mama’s lap — this has been the case for a long time — and you prefer to have something to hold while you drink. If there’s nothing in your hand, you will take off your sock and play with your foot.

You are desperate to stand and walk, and you pull up on the gate, your toy box, your music table, the dishwasher, the fridge, and our legs. But you are also very good at getting where you want to go, quickly, with your funny, leg-in-front crawl. It makes a funny ka-thunk noise, so this is why we sometimes call you Peg-Leg Pete.

You will come thumping across the floor if we open the fridge or the dishwasher.

You would eat your weight in Cheerios if we let you.

You are fascinated by sunbeams and shadows.

You are equally interested in the screws that hold a toy together as the toy itself.

You have figured out how to take things with you when you crawl, so now we find books in the kitchen and fridge magnets in the dining room.

You have also figured out how not to yawn or rub your eyes when you’re tired. Instead, you become very vocal and active and will climb all over Mama and bite her shoulder. But once you’re on your way upstairs, you give in to yawns and eye-rubbing.

You know that when you hear the garage door, someone is arriving or departing. Either way, you wave, say “buh” or “mama” and often go to the gate to see if someone’s coming.

You like to lick the glass of the deck doors.

Your favorite books are Baby Faces, Pat The Bunny, Trucks Go and Dear Zoo. You consistently pull them off your bookshelf and turn the pages and interact with them and carry them with you across the room. Unless it’s Pat The Bunny, in which case you will sit and play peekaboo with Paul and feel Daddy’s scratchy face and bend over to look at yourself in the mirror.

You enjoy playing with us, but you will also play by yourself.

You are so handsome that strangers routinely stop to comment about it. This has Mama a little worried.

You love your Daddy to bits. You squeal when you see him in the morning and at the end of the day. You love to grab his face and ears, and you love it when he puts you on his shoulders. If you go over to him and ask to be picked up, and he doesn’t pick you up, you do a really funny fake cry.

You also love your Grammie. You give her the biggest smiles and reach for her face, and you like playing with the pretty necklace she wears for you.

You get a huge smile on your face whenever we Skype with Avva, who lives very far away. Even if you’ve had a funky morning, you smile and smile and greet her, and then you imitate what she says, and try to feed her Cheerios when she asks you to.

You are eleven months old, and we’re pretty sure you’re the best baby ever.

I'm over 50. I'm raising a fifth grader. Sometimes he posts too.

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