When you hold your newborn baby in your arms for the first time, your head floods with pure love and thoughts of perfection and perhaps a creeping sense of panic. But one thing is sure: The thought of lying to your child is far, far away. That, my friends, will come later.
Last week I met a mom friend at a playground so we could shout sympathetic things at each other as our toddlers ran in opposite directions. Once we sat down for a snack, though, the conversation turned to the untruths we have used to avert conflict and /or simplify our lives. I can’t recall many of hers, but here are mine:
– We don’t have any more cookies/chocolate/chips.
– Daddy will be home soon.
– The ducks are too cold to eat.
– I can’t understand you when you whine.
– Bears like to stay home. (In reference to the bedtime buddy who increasingly “wants” to leave the house with us.)
– Bears like to go to the doctor. (A confusing inconsistency, I know.)
– Mama forgot. (Used increasingly as the Boo protests the fact that I haven’t let him close the garage door or push the buttons on the microwave or turn a light switch on or off.)
– I don’t know where those stickers went. (Technically true, since I don’t know where the landfill is.)
– The iPad is sleeping.
I’m going to be so screwed when that last one stops working.
Mama-Come-Lately 
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