Wherein we answer your burning questions about the secret lives of SAHMs, and dispense advice — but only if someone asks for it.
Dear SAHM,
Why are you people so crazy about pedicures?
Sincerely,
Muddled in Memphis
>Dear Muddled,
It’s not about the feet so much as the opportunity to sit still for 20 minutes and read things like this:
Dear SAHM,
Is it true that you fantasize about cleaning the toilet by yourself? That just seems weird.
Sincerely,
Stumped in Seattle
>Dear Stumped,
It seems weird to us too, but yes, we yearn to clean the house without “help.” It would take half the time, and with the brain space free from supervising the child, we could fantasize about other things — like inventive ways to cut grocery bills. Not really. Nobody fantasizes about saving money. That would be super weird. Ahem.
*****
Dear SAHM,
I saw a woman doing a crazy dance in front of a giant display of Goldfish crackers. Was this a SAHM? Is this some kind of secret ritual?
Sincerely,
Amazed in Albuquerque
>Dear Amazed,
That may or may have not been a SAHM, but I can tell you for sure that those Goldfish were on sale. Sounds like a really good sale, too. Where was this?
*****
Dear SAHM,
I overheard some ladies debating which is the worst: Caillou, Thomas or Dora. Can you shed some light on this?
Sincerely,
Freaked out in Fargo
>Dear Freaked Out,
Sure: Caillou is by far the most evil children’s cartoon character ever invented.
*****
Dear SAHM,
How are Stay-at-Home moms different from working moms?
Curious in Chicago
>Dear Curious,
We don’t go to an office, factory, or other work environment. In fact, we never leave our workplace, even to sleep. We have no official lunch break and no days off, even when we’re sick. Hm, maybe we should unionize…
*****
Dear SAHM,
What’s the best part of staying at home with your kids?
Waiting in Walla-Walla
>Dear Waiting,
Depends on the SAHM. Could be post-nap snuggles, unlimited access to baby feet, or the ability to wear pajama pants all damn day.
Mama-Come-Lately 
Leave a Reply