Mama-Come-Lately

Before the Boo started school, I had a meeting with his new teacher to go over a few things about him. Stuff like he’s a rule follower, he’s sensitive, he’s probably the most creative speller alive. Here’s one I forgot: If he swears, I deserve the credit and the responsibility.

That’s right: I swear in front of my kid. Pretty much always have, although I did wait until I thought he was old enough to understand The Rules of Swearing:

1. Never swear at school.
2. Almost never swear in public.
3. If you do swear in public, be sure you know your audience — or be ready to face the consequences.
4. Practice fake swear words so they’re ready when you need them. (My favorite: Motherscratcher.)
5. Do not use swearing to be mean.

I don’t subscribe to the “good words/bad words” way of thinking, with exceptions for a few that are just WAY too mean/gross/loaded for 99% of all humans to use. But the rest of them? They’re just words — they add color and spice to what you’re saying. Like hot sauce on eggs, it’s great as long as you don’t overdo it.

And like sauces on eggs, this is one area in which my husband and I do not agree. He swears so infrequently that we know he’s really ticked when he ventures beyond “come ON!” and “what a clown!” The Boo is aware that his dad doesn’t like it when he swears — so he makes an effort to avoid dropping word bombs within earshot of his dad.

This self-correction is part of why I’m teaching the Boo how and when to curse: it’s a life skill, a tool if you will, and as with any tool, you can use it in a negative or positive way. But hey, if you’re not comfortable teaching your kid to swear, use a knife or light sparklers, then by all means, don’t do it.