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My kid talks pretty much all the time. If he’s not talking, I assume he’s sleeping, concentrating on taking something apart, or sick. Here are some of his recent bon mots:

Boo: Can I watch cartoons?
Me: Um, later perhaps.
Boo: Is it later now?

Me: Tomorrow is a school day, and it’s a music day! I’m so excited for you!
Boo: I’m going to cry at school.
Me: Why are you going to cry?
Boo: Because I miss Mama.

Boo: That lightbulb is burnded out. We need to change it.
Me: Oh yeah? How do we do that?
Boo: First you get the ladder from the basement, then you bring it all the way upstairs, and put it carefully over there, and climb way up high, then you take the old lightbulb out, then you put the new lightbulb in, then you put the ladder away!
Me: Yep, that’s how you do it.

Boo, contemplating a container of ice on the deck: What’s under the ice?
Me: More ice. It’s all ice. Ice is very very cold water.
Boo: What will happen if we put more water on it?
Me: The water will turn into ice.
Boo: I want to put more water on it now!

First thing in the morning, clutching his tiger nightlight:
“See, Tigey needs new batteries, so I bringded him out into the hall, and we need to get the screwdriver, and open the battery compartment, and put in new batteries! That’s how we do it!”

At the end of our bedtime ritual, which concludes with him blowing me kisses — something he added this week:
“It’s good to give Mama kisses.”

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You played with this more than any of your toys this summer:

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You ask, “What will happen if…” at least a dozen times a day. Often, you ask it in response to Mama saying something like, “Please don’t juggle those knives.” — “What will happen if I juggle those knives?” But you also ask it to pursue your favorite hobby: finding out how things work.

You have begun to leave the crusts of bread behind when you eat a sandwich.

You gleefully push your tricycle along with your feet. Very fast. Around corners and down hills. You have not fallen off it, yet.

You said bye-bye to Avva (Daddy’s mama), who went back to India after spending the summer with us. You still refer to the guest bath as, “Avva’s bathroom.”

You started school. After a bumpy couple of weeks, you now handle saying goodbye to Mama very well, and talk yourself through what’s going to happen (initially, with tears; now, with endearing gravitas). We have it on good authority that you’re having fun, especially on music days — and you’re trying foods you refuse to touch at home.

You also started swimming lessons, which you adore despite the fact that your teacher is curiously inept at working with small children. A few times a week, you go to the pool with Mama to have fun splashing around (and practice your new skills).

You are the proud owner of the “OK to Wake!” alarm clock, which glows green when it’s no longer an ungodly hour and therefore permissible for you to get out of bed and come find Mama. (Because being woken at 5:30, even by a sweet little boy, gets old mighty quick.)

You say thank you almost every time we give you something to eat. We’re pretty sure you picked that up at school. Another, less charming phrase learned at school: I want to do it NOW.

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For two months, I’d prepared the Boo for school with a multi-pronged campaign of propaganda. I started by reading him chirpy, syrupy books about first days of school (four or five of them, from Baby Elmo to Maisie to Harry and his dinosaurs). After a while, he rejected them.

So I started playing school with him, making his train set figures ride in cars to school, where Mama would drop the Boo with his nice teachers and friends, and then leave to go to Target. The Hubs and I talked excitedly about school, saying what a cool big-boy thing it was going to be and how much fun he’d have.

Last week, I added a song recommended by my mom’s friend, a very experienced early childhood teacher. Here, check out the video, it’s pretty amusing.

The Boo loved the video and did not object to me singing the song to him at every nap and bed time. I also whistled it a lot to get the association nice and deep into his little brain.

Then the day arrived. The Hubs, his mom, Boo and I all went together to take photos and visit his classroom. The hubs left with his mom, and I stayed with the Boo for about ten minutes, talking to him and his teachers, and helping him glue some stuff.

Then I took a deep breath and said, “I will help you put your photo up, and then I’m going to go.” I made masking tape loops and had him help me position it and pat it in place. I explained that we did this so he could find his hook without needing to read. Then I gave him a big hug and kiss, told him I loved him and would see him soon, took another deep breath, turned around, and left.

I rounded several corners and made my way to the Director’s office, where I made myself a cup of tea, smeared some cream cheese on a bagel, and reminded myself to keep breathing. I didn’t exactly feel like I was going to pass out, but I was fuzzy and disoriented. I’ve spent the past two and a half years within sight and/or hearing of my kid, and suddenly not being able to see or hear him felt completely wrong.

Another mom and I went to the school’s foyer and chatted with the Director for the next hour. It was distracting, and it was nice to get to know them better, but it was difficult (and a little bizarre) to sit there socializing, knowing my kid was probably having a hard time at the other end of the building.

Later, as I chatted with an old friend, I realized what else was bugging me: This is the first time I’ve trusted anyone other than a family member to take care of him. I hadn’t realized that when people talk about letting go of your kids, they’re really talking about relinquishing control. It’s a good thing for both of us — but in my focused drive to prepare him, I hadn’t realized how much of an adjustment it would be for me.

At the end of the class, the teacher brought the (weepy, babbling) Boo to me. I knelt down to cuddle him as the teacher gave me the full report, cradling his head in my hand as I listened to her. The important part: He was never so distressed that he needed to be brought to me. This was better than I expected, a success in the teacher’s view and in my book. But the most amazing thing about the Boo’s first day of school? I didn’t cry when I said goodbye to him.

I guess my propaganda campaign worked after all.

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You are, for all practical purposes, two and a half years old.

You now have this at your disposal:

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You are working on the physics of pedaling, though you still find pushing forward with your feet Fred Flintstone-style to be far more efficient.

You ask, “What happened?” almost constantly, as a way to review the immediate past. Sometimes you answer yourself, sometimes we help you out.

You recited the following passage from a book after hearing it approximately six times: “Let’s start in the jungle where the tall trees grow and the monkeys swing from vine to vine.” You did this over your post-nap snack, just after seemingly spacing out for a few minutes.

You have several other favorite questions: “What is that?”, “What is that called?”, and “Where’s Daddy?”

You are making good progress on straightening out your pronoun usage because when you say, “You want Kix” or some such, Mama looks confused and says, “I don’t want Kix!” But your default setting is still to use “you” instead of “I.”

You have been introduced to the concept of privacy.

You have no desire to ditch your diapers, though we did buy you some very cute Thomas underpants that you like to look at now and again. Also, you’ve peed in the tub a few times, so you know how that works.

You have some charming toddler mispronunciations: piwwow (pillow), fadder (father), suhkuw (circle), dare (there), etc.

You adore having your Avva (Indian grandma) with us. You ask where she is when you wake up, and run to her when you find her. You also love to haul her around by the finger, and playfully run into her on occasion, so we have explained that she is delicate. Your favorite things to do with her are play hide and seek and go on walks.

You want to wear a sari like Avva does; you have settled for being wrapped in a towel.

You have started drawing cats, narrating the entire process: “We need a circle, and some pointy ears, and whiskers…”

You are utterly delighted with the conversion of your crib to a toddler bed. You expected all the rails to come off, not just the front panel, but we explained that’s to keep you safe, just like on Caillou’s bed, and you seemed to accept that.

You sat up and called for Mama the first morning you woke up in your big boy bed. So we practiced getting up, opening your door, and finding Mama. At the start of that day’s nap, you sprang up to go find Mama. Mama explained that big boys stay in their beds until after they wake up from their naps. She asked if you could do that, and you said yes. Then you went to sleep.

You have added “mommy” to the other names you call your mother (Mama, Amma). None of us use that term, so it took us a while to figure out you did this because that’s what Caillou calls his mother.

You are two and a half, and you reveal more of your big boy brain every day.

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“Do you like India?”

The speaker was a fresh-faced young woman I had just met. She had taken a shine to my toddler son, and he to her, perhaps because she was one of the few people we met who understood how to play with little kids.

All of that made answering her even more of a sticky wicket. Even though I know it’s an attempt at connecting with me, that question is so reductive that it’s hard for me to refrain from rolling my eyes. Meanwhile, I feel I can’t answer it honestly without offending the asker — while there’s plenty I like about India, there’s more I don’t like. Put another way, the negatives outweigh the positives for me.

I love how children are cherished there. I hate how many children suffer there. I love that opportunities are opening for women. I hate that so many women are still treated as property, or worse. I love the mish-mash of architectural styles on my mother-in-law’s street. I’m not crazy about the trash and smells on those streets. I love to see the street vendors pass with their enormous handcarts, yelling about their bananas, or onions, or noodles. I hate to hear the street dogs yelping in the middle of the night.

But none of that is anyone’s fault — and certainly not the fault of the person asking my least favorite question. So usually I lie and say yes, I like India. This time I laughed and said that I had only seen the insides of a few houses, and I liked them fine. Not a lie, but also not the whole truth.

It seemed like the kindest way to preserve the connection the woman was trying to establish.

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You think everything can be fixed with tape or new batteries, even things that don’t take batteries. You also seem to intentionally rip the flaps on your lift-the-flap book so that you can help Mama fix it with pieces of tape that end up anywhere but on the rip.

You are increasingly resistant to diaper changes, often announcing “no diaper today” during the first change of the day.

You are inclined to pinch or scratch Mama (and to a lesser extent, Daddy) when you are tired, sick or wound up. This earns you a stern “you may not hurt Mama” and a short stretch of being ignored.

You have developed a strong distaste for the changing table, but a simple change of venue (a/k/a changing you on the floor or in the living room) has you happy about getting clean again.

You were recently scared away from a piece of playground equipment by an older boy who rushed up as you were getting on it. After that, you whined “no” at every kid who came within 15 feet of you — including infants in strollers.

You got to know your cousins during a recent visit. By the end of it, you were kissing one of them, and letting both of them hug you.

You grew to like your uncle Dave so well during that same visit that you were demanding his finger by the end of it. His willingness to hoist you over his head a dozen times in a row may have had something to do with your esteem for him.

You experienced your first fist bump — with your doctor, during your two-year checkup.

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You are two years old.

You get a monthly kids’ magazine called High Five and you know it’s for you as soong as it show up. You love the stories and songs in it, but the big surprise for us is that you can find about half the items in the hidden pictures puzzle:

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You enjoy spinning to make yourself dizzy, washing things in the sink, and practicing your jumping skills.

You want to sing your water bottle to sleep when we put it in the fridge because Mama said it was going for a nap once when we laid it on its side. You now like to do this with certain toys, and last night you did it with a Cheerio that was apparently worn out from bring on your high chair tray.

You get rides in the laundry basket after Mama puts the clean clothes away.

You are learning how to somersault.

You have begun to protest diaper changes by trying to sit up through them. Often you can be persuaded to calm down with a song or the promise of playing with a favored object like a nail clipper (really), but on the night of your birthday you bumped your head, so sometimes Mama reminds you of that when you’re doing your Baby Abs of Steel routine.

You enjoy washing dishes so much that you sometimes have a meltdown if you can’t wash them when you want to. You also like scrubbing the shower floor, and often enlist the help of your bedtime buddy.

You have begun to state clothing preferences, usually by asking to wear your robot shirt.

You can get up on the piano bench and play by yourself.

You refer to yourself as “you,” often while pointing your chest for emphasis.

You refer to Mama as “I.”

You swiftly declare yourself done with your meal if told you can have something you want after you finish eating.

You have begun to deploy the phrase, “I don’t like it.”

You finally got to go out in a fresh snowfall, but refused to touch the snow. Mama suspects this was because you got a face full of it the day before when we walked to a neighbor’s house while it was falling. You stomped around in it a bit, but were disappointed that we couldn’t make a snowman from it because it was so dry.

You recently met a newborn baby, whom you studiously ignored except to ask Mama to put him down and to say goodbye to him.

You speak in full sentences about 20 percent of the time.

You began eating pasta a few weeks ago, but once again refused to touch or taste your birthday cake.

You know how to get down from the big bed safely.

You delight in playing hide and seek with Mama, especially when you’re in your looniest pre-bedtime state and thus most likely to run into walls and furniture while scurrying from room to room. But she has a hard time resisting your requests because of the pure joy you radiate when you find her and throw yourself against her, squealing.

You enjoy sitting in a big boy chair when we have snacks at the mall.

You made your first attempt to sing an actual song on your birthday. It was “Happy Birthday,” and you took artistic license with the lyric, proudly warbling, “happ burfday for you.”

You are two years old, and it’s a struggle to refrain from calling you “baby.”

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A few days ago the Boo and I made a (long overdue) visit to a friend with a new baby. I had primed him for the trip, saying we were going to Auntie Suzanne’s house to meet Baby Henry, who was brand new and tiny and cute, all concepts he understands. I asked what we would say to the baby; since “congratulations” was a bit of a mouthful we settled on “welcome” even though the kid was lobbying hard for “good morning.”

We arrived and visited for a bit, patting the two sweet house dogs and chatting before the baby woke up. When we went into the nursery, all attempts to get the Boo to look at the sweet sleeping child were met with requests to flip light switches or attempts take me out of the room by my finger.

I alternated between saying deep things about how tiny and cute the baby was and either deferring or granting my kid’s requests. When I was walking around with Henry in my arms, the Boo actually pulled (gently) on my outer wrist and said “down.” Using my Mama interpretive powers, I understood him to mean, “Put that kid down, there are more light switches I need to check out and I need your help to do it, lady.”

Even with the toddler juggling act, it was a sweet visit, bringing back memories of those love-struck early days when the simple enormity of the new baby routine made me feel both powerful and utterly stoned. I had wanted to go on my own, but having my kid with me felt good, too, even as I sheepishly plied him with chocolate chips to extend our time there.

Back at home, we settled into the late afternoon routine of play and mealtime. I was rinsing something at the sink when Boo piped up from his chair.

“Auntie Suzanne!”

“Yes, we went to Auntie’s house, that’s right. Who did we meet there?”

“Puppies!”

“That’s true, there were puppies. Who else did we see there?”

“Foxy!”

After a bit more prompting, he did acknowledge the existence of Baby Henry and noted that he had been sleeping. I hope they’ll be pals somewhere down the road, but right now, he only has eyes for Foxy.

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Oh my friends. The past few weeks have been a maelstrom of nose wiping, forehead kissing and night wakings. And I’m just talking about my husband. Ba-dum-bump.

In combination, the three of us have been sick for at least two weeks. Maybe more — it’s hard to remember. Nothing serious, just colds that have made us tired and snotty and unmotivated. In the middle of all that, we had Christmas and New Year’s (we stayed home from a party, thanks head colds!) and an expected but still very sad death in the family. Oh, and the Polar Vortex and anxiously looking out windows and wondering if the plowing company would ever show up since at least one of us might need a trip to the doctor if and when they ever opened their offices again.

All that to say I’ve missed writing, but every time I had time to do it, all I felt like doing was napping, or watching trashy TV, or cooking something more complicated than ravioli. But I’m back now, I’ve done what you’re supposed to do as a writer and sat down to just write something, anything.

In this case, it seems I’m writing about winter. Dark winter with icicle teeth and definite ideas about what you should wear and when the entire city should troop out to buy milk and bread and eggs. Or maybe illness, that unexplained, unscheduled stop that makes your baby a piteous bundle of snotty coughing and knocks everyone’s sleep schedule (almost) back to newborn days.

But hey, my Christmas flowers (above) are still going strong and a neighbor just made it up the freshly plowed communal driveway, so things are looking up.

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You Are 21 Months Old

You are 21 months old.

You kiss all the “boo boos” on the banisters:

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You say “hi” as sweetly as possible after you get scolded.

You have met Santa a few times and you think it’s fun that he waves at you, but you are not inclined to get very close to him.

You have a toy phone, but you use the TV remote to call your grandma in India.

You are cutting at least one molar. We know because you are gnawing on everything, including your fingers, like you’re four months old again.

You understand that sheet music is to songs as books are to reading. Luckily, the music we have out is at the “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” level, so Mama can play it for you.

You are happy to mix up a pretend drink for yourself while Mama cooks, though you sometimes require her assistance with pouring in some pretend salt or honey (two of your favorite taste treats).

You are trying like hell to draw a circle so you can draw a cat. Which explains why you scribble over every cat we draw for you — you’re teaching yourself to draw. Duh.

You occasionally claw at Mama’s face, usually when you’re tired or scared. But we still have chats about why that’s not okay.

You will now eat hard-boiled egg whites if there’s enough seasoning on them. You will also eat cheese crackers because Elmo is on them.

You demand music during car rides.

You adore your play food and are particularly fond of making sandwiches. Cheese-lettuce-whole cucumber-and-pretzel sandwiches. You also like to send the lemon, ear of corn, and tangerine on short trips into space.

You are also really into some soft play tunnels we just brought out, and the few new books we’ve gotten you recently.

You want to run all the time: Before diaper changes, after diaper changes, freshly out of the car, as soon as you finish your morning bottle. But most interestingly, when you are a little uncertain or shy about a social situation.

You encountered your first train table last week. We more or less had to rip you away from it when the train store closed. Now we’re figuring out how to fit one on our main level.

You are 21 months old. How did that happen?

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