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Posts Tagged ‘childhood’

  We recently took the Boo to London, which might seem like a crazy thing to do with a three-and-a-half-year-old. But we took him to India over a year ago, so whatever. Herewith, the highlights.

You went to London for two weeks. 

You were an angel on the flights there and back despite not sleeping much/very well/at all. (Thanks, group of guys on the way to Vegas who started the party as soon as the seatbelt sign was turned off… You were truly awesome in your dedication to the loud enjoyment of free booze.)

You loved playing “light engineer” at the hotel where we stayed for the first few days. (Read: So many switches! So many lights! It’s Boo heaven!)

You were happy to ride in the stroller despite not having been it for about a year. Maybe that was because we kept plying you with potato chips and chocolate-covered digestive biscuits.

You loved riding the Tube and the buses, and got really good at listening for the station we needed. You are now the happy owner of a decommissioned Oyster card, which you use to play “riding the Tube.”

You asked to go back to the London Transport Museum almost as soon as we left it. Your favorite parts were the play train, model elevators, and real buses you could pretend to drive. We went twice, and you would have been thrilled to go every day. (That’s it in the photo above.)

You enjoyed the amazing Princess Diana Memorial Playground — most especially the pirate ship and the secluded winding pathways.

You discovered a love of shortbread, English-style pub chips and a fruit snack you named “mango snails.” Your aunt got you to try a bite of sausage, which was truly astonishing to your Mama.

You played with your older cousins quite a bit, and got into playing with Legos for the first time. 

You were captivated by the earthquake simulator at the Natural History Museum, and that night you were very concerned about whether there was an earthquake simulator under your bed. 

You were pretty good about sleeping on the floor at your cousins’ flat. There were several nights it took you ages to fall asleep, but we figured that was because you knew there were good times being had after your bedtime.

You dealt with jet lag in London better than in the U.S., where you woke up at 2 or 3 a.m. for the first few nights. And stayed up for hours and hours until Mama finally gave in and set you up with cartoons at 5 a.m., and let you watch whatever you wanted all day because that’s what cartoons are for.

You said, “I don’t know” when Mama asked “What was your favorite thing about London?” When pressed, you said, “it’s a secret,” which is also what you say when pressed about things that happen at school.

You went to London for two weeks, and you’re already asking when we can go back. 

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You grew an inch in the past six weeks, but did not gain any weight despite consuming spoons of peanut butter on a regular basis. 

You selected the colors for Mama’s most recent pedicure: 

 You started a five-mornings-a-week program at your school and are adjusting well, though Mama has noticed that you are more apt to want to cuddle with her. You also seem to have forgotten how to wash your hands at home. 

You are enthralled by the Madeline books, a taste you come by honestly — Mama loved them when she was your age. 

You talk about death a lot, saying things like, “I don’t want to die,” and “Do you want to die, Mama?” This has been going on, off and on, for at least six months, but this time it’s more intense. We are being honest and kind with our answers, so you know that everyone dies but usually when they’re very old or sick. 

You seem to be enjoying school, though it’s a bit tough to tell since you have made a game of not telling us anything about your day. You insist for example that you don’t know who you sat next to at snack, or that it’s a secret.

You sometimes share details of your day in transitory moments, like the car on the way home from school. The other day you divulged that you had declared your love for a girl in your class. Another day, you excitedly taught Mama a new song while we were walking across the parking lot after school.

You want to go to our little neighborhood park every day. 

You love the Sound of Music soundtrack and know most of the words to most of the songs. We know this because we overhear you singing them when you think we’re not paying attention. 

You have developed a serious nail-biting habit. The paint-on remedy is not doing much to deter you. Mama is considering digging out the teething toys. 

You are reasonably proficient at putting your clothes on, though whenever you get your underwear or shorts backwards you leave them that way, declaring that’s how you like to wear them.

You’ve started your first session of swim lessons without Mama in the water with you, and your teacher says you’re doing great. It helps that you have a buddy from school in the class — so you both have a friend to splash. 

You named a bunch of adults, including Mama and Daddy, when asked who your friends are. 

You asked a teacher — from another class — if she loves you. (She said she does.)

You asked both your teachers if they will miss you when you go home. 

You asked Mama if she misses you when she’s walking down the stairs with you.

You clearly have a lot going on in that sweet little noggin.

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  “This sounds like The Clash!” (It was.)

***
“This sounds like Mickey Mouse Clubhouse!” (It was Stevie Wonder’s Sir Duke, which also starts with a nice thick blast of horns.)

***
“Who is this?”   “Steven Tyler.”    “That sounds like Stevie Wonder!”

***
“Why is he yelling?” (It was Steven Tyler.)

***

“This is the Rolling Stones. It’s called ‘Time is On My Side. What do you think?”

“It’s yucky.”

***

“I want Red Vines!”

“It’s my turn to pick.”

“Okay Mama. You pick Red Vines.”

***

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Wherein we answer your burning questions about the secret lives of SAHMs, and dispense advice — but only if someone asks for it.



Dear SAHM, 

Why are you people so crazy about pedicures?

Sincerely,

Muddled in Memphis

>Dear Muddled,

It’s not about the feet so much as the opportunity to sit still for 20 minutes and read things like this:

  
Dear SAHM, 

Is it true that you fantasize about cleaning the toilet by yourself? That just seems weird. 

Sincerely,

Stumped in Seattle

>Dear Stumped,

It seems weird to us too, but yes, we yearn to clean the house without “help.” It would take half the time, and with the brain space free from supervising the child, we could fantasize about other things — like inventive ways to cut grocery bills. Not really. Nobody fantasizes about saving money. That would be super weird. Ahem. 

*****

Dear SAHM,

I saw a woman doing a crazy dance in front of a giant display of Goldfish crackers. Was this a SAHM? Is this some kind of secret ritual?

Sincerely,

Amazed in Albuquerque

>Dear Amazed,

That may or may have not been a SAHM, but I can tell you for sure that those Goldfish were on sale. Sounds like a really good sale, too. Where was this?

*****

Dear SAHM,

I overheard some ladies debating which is the worst: Caillou, Thomas or Dora. Can you shed some light on this?

Sincerely,

Freaked out in Fargo

>Dear Freaked Out,

Sure: Caillou is by far the most evil children’s cartoon character ever invented. 

*****

Dear SAHM,

How are Stay-at-Home moms different from working moms?

Curious in Chicago

>Dear Curious,

We don’t go to an office, factory, or other work environment. In fact, we never leave our workplace, even to sleep. We have no official lunch break and no days off, even when we’re sick. Hm, maybe we should unionize…

*****

Dear SAHM,

What’s the best part of staying at home with your kids?

Waiting in Walla-Walla

>Dear Waiting,

Depends on the SAHM. Could be post-nap snuggles, unlimited access to baby feet, or the ability to wear pajama pants all damn day.

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The officiant at rest.

Yesterday, the Boo wanted to know what getting married meant. I told him that when you love someone very much, you might want to stay with them forever. And if you do, you can ask them if they want to marry you. And if they say yes, you get married. 

This morning, he said he wanted to marry me. 

I said yes, and then we set about finding an officiant. He asked his stuffed tiger, but it said no. Fortunately, the hippo he asked next agreed to perform the ceremony. 

After some very brief vows, the hippo declared us to be married. Then the Boo said, “Now we need to get all married up!” As it turns out, that means that you exchange lots of kisses on various part of your faces. But the kisses only count as kisses if you pop your mouth open really wide like a fish after you give them. 

Shortly after that, he said it was time to get unmarried. We achieved this by taking the kisses off with a special sort of drill. He said it wouldn’t hurt. It didn’t, maybe because I couldn’t even see the drill. 

I negotiated to keep one kiss. 

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We are lucky to have a theater-style circus where we live. This year, we took the Boo for the first time — they have an hour-long kids’ show. There were trained cats, an acrobatic troupe doing human pyramids and using each other as jump ropes, a stunning trapeze duo, and of course a high-wire act. 

My mother and I gasped and exclaimed. The kiddo sat on our laps (he had woken up early) and gazed at everything. Occasionally he would ask questions about the set, the lights, or the action in the ring.

When the Boo woke up from his nap, I asked him if he liked the circus. He said yes. I asked what he liked best about it. 

“Cotton candy.” <huge smile>

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  You have an imaginary friend. His name is the same as Daddy’s and he seems to be very similar to you, though sometimes he is potty trained and sometimes not. 

You are fond of telling us when other kids are violating some rule or safety guideline. 

You are in the process of dropping your afternoon nap. We know this because when you sleep for longer than an hour you struggle to fall asleep at night and then wake up early. The good news: when your nap is an hour or less, you sleep for 10-11 hours at night. 

You still refuse most veggies and all meat and dairy products, though you did eat most of a snow pea we grew on the deck. 

You are tall enough to turn lights on and off. 

You still adore playing with water and containers on the deck, even in 90-plus temps. 

You are completely potty trained when awake, and wake up dry from naps about 20% of the time. We don’t even have to haul the seat insert with us when we leave the house anymore. 

You asked what a gun is. You were told it’s a very noisy thing for grownups only. The noise is why it’s not allowed in stores or schools or other public places. 

You seem to be enjoying summer camp, though you rarely tell us what you do there. When asked what the music teacher sang one day, you whispered, “it’s a secret.”

You have grown half an inch and gained a pound over the last two months. You are also outgrowing your summer sandals, but happily Mama was able to find the same pair in the next size up. 

You are no longer willing to ride in shopping carts unless you are extremely tired. 

You have seen the original Sesame Street and was amused that Mama liked it so much. 

You went to the science center and spent most of your time there watching the Omnimax projector. When it was time to go, you negotiated to stay until the projector went back up into the ceiling. 

You know that things die when they get old. 

You have asked if your Grammie is going to die. You were told yes, but not for a long time. 

You asked if you were going to die. You were told no, because Mama thinks you already have enough to worry about (you are currently concerned about storms, tornadoes and fires).

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From the time he was small enough to hold with one arm, the Boo’s bedtime routine has consisted of three stages: Reading, singing and kisses. But lately, the kisses have taken over.

In the beginning, of course, he could not return our kisses. Later, maybe around the time he turned two, he started trying to kiss us. He would approach us with his mouth frog-wide-open, smear us with toddler spit, and look very pleased with himself.

At some point, I decided one kiss on his forehead was not enough, and started kissing his cheeks. He began asking me to kiss his nose, chin, ears, and eyes, and I was happy to comply.  Then one night he decided I should have kisses, too.

He gave me kisses everywhere I had kissed him. And now he has teeth, and an overbite, and doesn’t always pucker up, so I brace myself for gentle collisions. Sometimes, he uses my nose as a handle to get to the part of my face he wants to kiss. It hurts, but it always makes me smile because of how practical and serious he is about it. 

Then one night he declared he was out of kisses. But he knew how to get more, he said. He just needed a special key, which he used to open a spot on his chest. Then he put in more kisses, and more and more. Then he retrieved the key, locked the kisses in, and delivered them. 

This is all very charming, and one of my favorite parts of the day, but it takes a long time. So I’ve started cutting back on books and songs on days when I’m feeling super tired or just done with kid time. He doesn’t seem to notice — he’s too busy stocking up on kisses. 

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To say that the Boo has grown tremendously throughout his first school year is like saying chocolate is good. Massive understatement. 

In the beginning, he would not only cry when I left but wander around like a lost, weepy lamb. This, despite a goodbye ritual that included a reading of The Very Hungry Caterpillar and a series of kisses and hugs and a lovey to comfort him in my absence. At one point, there was discussion of whether we should pull him out of school for a while. Instead, we decided to try adding a few more tricks to the bag — a photo of me to look at, a favorite CD. It was early November. 

Shortly after we expanded the comfort program, right after Thanksgiving, something clicked for the kiddo. He didn’t cry as I left. He started blowing me kisses goodbye. He began to find his place among his friends. We kept up with reading The Very Hungry Caterpillar, though, partly because I enjoyed it so much — his classmates would cluster around us, chiming in on their favorite parts and beaming like only little kids can beam. 

A few weeks ago we dropped the book reading from the routine. Then we started doing our kisses and hugs in the hallway so the Boo can walk into his classroom like the big boy he’s become. Every time, we stop a bit further away, backing slowly toward more independence. 

One day about a month ago, the Boo came home with a bright orange flyer pinned to his backpack. Photo Day was coming, it said. Here are the 88 choices of print packages. Once I settled on a reasonable option and wrote a check, my thoughts turned to The Outfit. Surely something with a collar for Baby’s First School Photo. Shirt and tie? Polo shirt? 

I decided to involve the Boo by presenting a few possibilities the morning of Photo Day. I explained what a big deal the photo was, that both grandmas would have a copy, that it would be a good idea to wear something fancy. He considered the choices I held up and rejected them all, insisting instead that he wanted to wear the pajama shirt he had on:

 

I didn’t fight him. Why bother, when he picked the perfect reminder of how far he’s come since September?

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Still Here

Time has been slipping by with occasional thoughts of posting something and now here we are, over three weeks with no post. It’s some kind of record. So here’s what’s been going on:

Ear infection. We’re 3/4 of the way through the second round of antibiotics and have our fingers crossed because that little orifice is hugely disruptive when it’s out of order. Crappy sleep, crabby kid, and let’s not forget all those lovely trips to the doctor. I mean, I love our pediatrician and all, but there are limits. 

Colds. All three of us, in rotation, throughout the entire month of February. Whee!

Allergies. Our winter was so warm there was a mold count almost the entire time. 

February. That month can suck it. Even with V-day and the Boo’s birthday in there, it always kicks my behind until I turn around and say, “Go ahead, keep kicking, only two more weeks, right? I can take it.”

Baby Root Canal. Yep, that’s right, it’s a thing. And it’s the alternative to pulling a tooth when the nerve is dead and causing pain and threatening to blossom into an abscess. The Boo drank his sleepy juice like a champ and came through it just fine. And yes, dopey kids are hilarious. Haven’t laughed that hard in months. 

Time change. No need to say much about this since everyone is already complaining about it. 

Deathaversary. My dad died almost exactly nine years ago. Every year I think it won’t affect me. Every year I am wrongitty-wrong-wrong. Wrong. 

Singing. The Boo has suddenly, like seriously overnight, started singing entire songs. His rhythm is still better than his melody, but they are recognizable songs, yay! He is currently obsessed with London Bridge but also has deep affection Rom Stomp Stomp or whatever you call the kid’s song with “Oh Raffi” in the middle of it. What, is that like an ad for Raffi? That’s just wrong. 

Swimming. We started classes at a new place, and so far it’s an awesome way to chew up a Saturday morning. But I am looking forward to the first time he gets to go to a swimming class without me in the water. Mostly because I don’t enjoy the process of bathing both of us in a tiny shower with a sticky curtain and then dressing in front of strangers. I’d much rather get soaked showering my kid.

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