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Posts Tagged ‘pregnancy’

There is decidedly something in the water at my old office. Last I heard, at least 18 women there are expecting. Okay, it’s a few less than that. But still. That place should just suck it up and open a daycare in the basement.

These women are all sweet and lovely and excited, and all first-time moms. I keep thinking about them, and what they’re going through, and what I went through. I also think about what I wish for them: Boredom.

Ladies, in between the thrill of hearing the baby’s heartbeat and watching movements on ultrasounds and deciding which car seat to register for, I want your pregnancies to have all the excitement of a loaf of white bread. I want your babies to treat you so nicely that you sometimes forget you’re pregnant. I want you to arrive at the end of those 40 weeks thinking, “Wow, that wasn’t so bad. And now I have the best present I’ve ever received.”

And for your labor and delivery? The same thing, but with as much pain relief as you desire.

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