Mama-Come-Lately

I made a face as I was leaving my polling place yesterday morning. I couldn’t help it. Even though I had arrived ten minutes before the doors opened and was only about 15th in line, it took a full half hour for me to get verified and ready to vote. And when I turned from the table where I’d just signed my name and initialed my signature (?!), I had to wait for someone to get up from one of about 15 seats before I could fill out my ballot.

One of the election workers saw my grimace and asked me what was wrong. I said, “I know it’s not your fault, and I appreciate your service, but it seems like the system is designed to discourage people from voting.” She was sympathetic, though obviously powerless to change things on the spot. But it got me thinking: what needs to change in order for voting to be not quite such a gigantic hassle?

Here are some ideas:

– Issue permanent voter ID cards with electronic strips carrying information about the voter, eliminating the need to wait for hours while IDs are manually checked.
– Use portable electronic voting machines and set them up at churches, schools, and community centers not just on Election Day, but well beforehand.
– Require candidates to stop campaigning a few weeks prior to the election.
– Let people vote for at least a month prior to election day.

Does this sound crazy to you? Then consider this: in India, the world’s largest democracy, with a population of over 1 billion people, that’s pretty much how it works. India, people. A Third World country.

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So comforting, the well-stocked diaper needs shelf.

When a mother of three told me about Amazon Mom , I was ecstatic. Diapers, wipes and formula delivered to my door? On a set schedule so I don’t have to remember and never run out? At a 20% discount? Surely I’ve died and gone to heaven.

I’ll admit, it was fabulous in those hazy early days when I could barely function. But here’s the deal: No matter how well you plan, you end up with dozens of diapers in the size your baby grew out of overnight. Also, it’s really just a ploy to gin up Amazon Prime subscribers. (For the uninitiated, this is a program that gives you shipping benefits — faster, cheaper, etc. — and it’s $79 a year.)

Here’s how it works: For the first three months, if you’ve never had Amazon Prime and meet whatever other criteria they secretly set, you get a free three-month Amazon Prime trial membership when you join Amazon Mom (for which there is no fee). This also gets you the 20% discount. (Without Amazon Prime membership, the discount is a measly 5%.) They tell you that all of your purchases, including baby-related ones, count toward earning future months of Amazon Prime membership. You figure, hell, with all the diapers I’ll be buying, I will be an Amazon Prime member for decades to come!

Then you subscribe to monthly deliveries of baby stuff, though not all sizes and amounts are available. So if you want only 32 Size 2 Pampers Swaddlers because you think the baby is just about to bust out of that size, tough nuts — it’s 264 or no discount, babe! On the plus side, there is a set monthly delivery date for all your stuff, and they send you e-mails when they’re about to ship things so you can make changes or cancel an order.

At this point, my Amazon Prime free trial membership has expired, and kvetching about it to Amazon to get it reinstated is very low on my priority list. Meanwhile, it’s been fun playing Diaper Fairy (i.e., giving away the outgrown diapers), but also frustrating. I feel like I’ve been forced to buy more than I need. And while we’re not on a super-tight budget, I do try not to be stupid with our money.

So I’m using the service for formula and wipes and Diaper Genie refills, but being very wary with the diaper orders — in fact I just cancelled my standing Pampers order yesterday. And having tested them and done the math, I know that Target diapers do the same thing as Pampers.

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Yesterday I posted this photo on Facebook with the caption, “Overwhelming and obscene.” I’d gone to my local Target for this and that, which as usual included something for the wee one. He’s been on solids for a good six weeks now, so I thought I’d cruise the feeding aisle for a glimpse at the future. And then I was greeted by the spectacle above.

Sippy cups. Cups with built-in straws. Snap-on lids. Screw-on lids. The inevitable licensed characters. Rubberized grips. Insulated models. Maybe it was the lack of sleep, but it was so overwhelming to me that all I could do was shake my head, take the photo and move on.

Why? Why are there so many brands and styles of sippy cups that contemplating which one to buy requires an investigative effort? And not that it’s directly related, but why do we have so many choices of ways to give our kids milk when so many kids go hungry every day, around the corner and around the world?

Later, the comments came trickling in: Choose wisely. They all leak. Welcome to sippy cup hell.

Great. Good to know my choice won’t really matter in the end.

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