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Posts Tagged ‘motherhood’

Book Review: Blue Hat, Green Hat by Sandra Boynton

Posted in Entertainment, Stuff I Like, tagged , , , , , on August 18, 2013| Leave a Comment »

I am lucky enough to belong to the kind of book club that is more concerned with food and wine and friendship than books and the intense discussion thereof. We’ve been meeting for long enough that we’ve developed our own traditions, one of which is the baby book shower.

When it was my turn, I was delighted to receive a small library’s worth of road-tested baby and children’s books. Many of them have become favorites (of both Baboo and mine), and Blue Hat, Green Hat by Sandra Boynton is currently in heavy rotation at nap times.

The concept is simple:

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The theme continues apace on the next spread:

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It goes on from there, the turkey reliably providing comic relief to the earnestness of the elephant, moose and bear. In the middle, the rhythm is broken so that the parent doing the reading doesn’t fall asleep. Conveniently, this switch-up also keeps the baby engaged. “What will come next?” the baby thinks. “Will we return to the 1-2-3 oops form, or move on to something even more exciting?”

Both, little reader. Both. After a spread discussing the various colors of shoes favored by plump animals, we get the big payoff:

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Baboo likes to hear about the bathing costumes of the animals watching from the side of the pool, so we discuss that before noting how silly that turkey is. And that’s what I really love about this book: Despite the simplicity of the idea, there’s quite a bit to discuss beyond colors and items of clothing. Also, it’s just funny — a definite parental bonus when you’re reading to an overtired toddler.

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You Are 18 Months Old

Posted in Milestones, tagged , , , , on August 16, 2013| Leave a Comment »

You are 18 months old.

You can operate these toys all by yourself:

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You still insist upon inspecting Mama’s shoe after she farts. When you don’t find anything other than a shoe, you shrug.

You can locate your chin, cheeks, forehead and bottom.

You sometimes play with your blocks all by yourself.

You have mastered the art of climbing onto the couch and chairs.

Your morning nap is slowly evaporating and being absorbed by your afternoon nap. This makes you a little cranky, but the change makes Mama happy.

You decided to conquer the shape sorter last week — and you did.

You love to “walk” up the stairs as we hold your hands.

You know what “boo-boo” and “kiss it better” mean, and you bestow kisses on Mama’s boo-boos as well as your own. You have also begun to make contact with your kisses.

You know how to turn on the dishwasher. And now we know how to lock it.

You are almost able to thread shoelaces. Real ones, not baby practice ones. Well, they belong to the learn-to-dress monkey, but still, they’re tiny.

You know that if you’re happy and you know it, the only thing to do is clap your hands. Failing that, you can also pat your head or stomp your feet.

You are so obsessed with trash cans that Mama brought a little one into the kitchen for you. There’s a separate blog post coming about this because there’s just too much to tell for this format.

You went to the zoo for the first time with Grammie and Mama. You seemed to like the elephants quite a bit. You were also delighted to find they have trash cans there.

You know how to answer and end a Skype call on an iPad.

You regularly deploy the word “uh-oh” in the correct context. You are also an expert shrugger.

Your feet are five inches long.

You abruptly ended your long and ardent love affair with baby yogurt. Mama is fine with this because of the high sugar content, and trusts that you will eat enough of other stuff that you keep growing.

You are 18 months old, and we can’t quite believe it.

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Mama Body

Posted in Daily Life, Kvetchitude, tagged , on August 14, 2013| Leave a Comment »

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I’d heard about it for years, but never quite believed it, this thing about pregnancy changing your body forever. Then I started trying on my pre-baby clothes.

I’m nearly 10 pounds lighter than I was before I got pregnant, but try telling that to my midsection. It’s all, “Whatever, you go right on ahead and eat leafy greens and lean protein, yadda-yadda, I’m keeping ALL the fat RIGHT HERE! Because I LIKE IT”! Meanwhile, the best part of my butt is missing. It’s kind of like someone let the air out of it. Pfft! And recently when I felt brave enough to go bra shopping, I found I’d gone up a cup size — this despite never having produced enough milk for the baby. It’s kind of insulting.

It took me a while, but I figured out what happened. Clearly, they sent me home from the hospital with a post-partum poltergeist. Slowly and stealthily, it’s been working its evil magic on me while I sleep. It must be good, too, because I don’t ever sleep for long.

The list of changes is amazing, really. The nicest plumpness of my rear has been shipped up north of my waist, and apparently some of it continued on up to my chest. My skin went schizoid for a good three months. The texture of my hair became so alien to me that I’m still battling with it, a year and a half and three stylists later.

Yep, a poltergeist. That’s the only possible explanation. It actually makes sense, because I’m certain it hitched a ride amongst the free diapers — Pampers, as it happens. They’re made by Procter and Gamble. You know what else they make? Half the beauty and grooming products on the planet. You know who buys most of that crap? New moms who are all, “What the FREAK is happening to my body and how can I fix it?! Surely this magical shampoo/lotion/lip gloss will help!”

See, it doesn’t sound so crazy anymore, does it?

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Time Machine

Posted in Daily Life, tagged , , , on August 7, 2013| Leave a Comment »

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Over the weekend I stopped at the door to my little boy’s room. I have no idea why, and I can no longer recall if it was Saturday or Sunday. What I do recall is being taken back in time, vividly and quickly.

Rocking him through naps a little over a year ago while watching Mad Men on my phone. Fumbling through 2 a.m. nursing sessions, bowled over by the peace on my son’s face. Earning my Nursery Ninja badge by changing the batteries in the swing as he slept in it. Several times. Sitting by the crib, patting his chest, teaching him that it is a safe and happy place to sleep, my arm numb from being over the rail for so long. Endless diaper changes and swaddlings and book readings. Crying as he cried because of the worst diaper rash in world history, hoping he understood that I had to hurt him to help him.

People who know me well will be shocked that I did not cry during this episode. This was not a sentimental event, but a river-deep revelation: This is where I’ve spent my best and worst moments, in this 10 x 10 room filled with baby smell and elephants and love.

As suddenly as the wave had picked me up, it let me go. I moved on to the day’s next task, safely returned from the my trip back in time.

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The House of No

Posted in Daily Life, tagged , , , , , , on August 5, 2013| Leave a Comment »

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One of Baboo’s clearest and most frequent words is No. This has sparked an ongoing debate in our house: Does he say it so much and so well because we say it to him so often, or is he merely learning to use language to assert his will?

I’m in the latter camp, because he uses it to get to “yes,” for example, telling me which book he wants to read by rejecting all the ones he doesn’t want. He does know the word “yes,” by the way. He just doesn’t always choose to use it. It’s baffling, and we’re saying “yes” to him more often now, but still, his default is “no.”

He also uses No to double-check that something he’s been told not to do is still off-limits. It’s really cute, actually: He’ll caress the trash can while pouring his soul out through his eyes and mournfully uttering a soft “No?”

Meanwhile, the aforementioned debate has created an awareness in my disciplinary language that I like, spawning a litany of phrases that mean No. These tend to be either strings of nonsense sounds like “ah-ah-ah-ah-ah,” or a positive casting of a negative request, like, “That’s Mama’s cup” instead of “Don’t touch that.” I have to admit to feeling a little funny about the latter approach because I have been known to mercilessly mock those who avoid saying No to their kids at all costs.

I’m not taking it that far, though — just reserving No for dangerous things like the oven and outlets (or when it just pops out of my mouth). Pretty much everything else I might use a No for falls into the category of limit-setting, and distraction tactics are often more effective for that. My favorite so far is “Where’s your baby?” closely followed by “Would you like this cup/spoon/yogurt tub?”

And then of course there are situations where neither a No nor distraction works. The best example is Baboo’s favorite new trick: Kicking like mad on the changing table. If I say No, he says it right back to me and goes back to kicking. My Stern Mama Face has zero effect. And he thinks it’s so fun that distracting him from it is nigh impossible. So now I’m trying a technique I used with my dogs: ignore the behavior you don’t want.

I’ll let you know how that works out.

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A Wish For the Mamas

Posted in Daily Life, tagged , , on August 1, 2013| Leave a Comment »

There is decidedly something in the water at my old office. Last I heard, at least 18 women there are expecting. Okay, it’s a few less than that. But still. That place should just suck it up and open a daycare in the basement.

These women are all sweet and lovely and excited, and all first-time moms. I keep thinking about them, and what they’re going through, and what I went through. I also think about what I wish for them: Boredom.

Ladies, in between the thrill of hearing the baby’s heartbeat and watching movements on ultrasounds and deciding which car seat to register for, I want your pregnancies to have all the excitement of a loaf of white bread. I want your babies to treat you so nicely that you sometimes forget you’re pregnant. I want you to arrive at the end of those 40 weeks thinking, “Wow, that wasn’t so bad. And now I have the best present I’ve ever received.”

And for your labor and delivery? The same thing, but with as much pain relief as you desire.

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Wee-Hours Waking

Posted in Daily Life, tagged , , , , , on July 26, 2013| Leave a Comment »

“Could be his molars coming in.”

With that simple sentence, I lost a bit of love for our pediatrician, which is okay because I have enough love for him that losing a bit is tolerable.

The baby had been waking up for a few nights running, and since he had an ear infection the last time that happened, we were there to rule out that possibility. With it ruled out, I was left with no simple answer to this maddening new trend in my baby’s behavior.

As the days went on, he did it over and over, waking between 2 and 4:30, upset but easily calmed, sometimes soaked through, sometimes dry. One night, for extra fun, he woke up an hour after the first time, just as I was drifting back to sleep.

Naturally I turned to the Internet and books for possible reasons. None of them seemed fun:

– Molars. Two-year molars coming in seven months early, could take a few months to fully erupt. Neato.

– Separation anxiety. Really? I’m with him ALL THE TIME.

– Overtiredness. The more tired you are, the worse you sleep. The worse you sleep, the more tired you are. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

– Night terrors. He’s a little young for this, but one of the hallmarks of this lovely phenomenon is a freaked-out kid who suddenly calms down and passes out again, which is pretty much what he was doing. He also paused during a crying jag to chirp, “hi!”

– 18-month sleep regression. This is where the kid starts waking up at night for no apparent reason, and you get to decide how to deal with it. Regardless of your course of action, you still end up with a tired baby and shredded sleep.

– Just a fun new limit-testing behavior. Because making Mommy get out of bed is fun!

– Full moon.

Go ahead and laugh at that last one. He stopped his wee-hours wakings the night after the full moon.

Apparently I’m raising a werewolf.

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You Are 17 Months Old

Posted in Happiness, Milestones, tagged , , , , on July 17, 2013| Leave a Comment »

You are 17 months old.

You have a new toy:

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You somehow know that the sound of an almost-empty ketchup bottle “farting” is funny.

You say “brr” when something is cold.

You had your first skinned knee last week.

You will sometimes put your hands on your hips and stick your belly out and look at Mama and start laughing.

You dip one index finger ever so daintily in something you want to taste and then bring it slowly up to your mouth. Your Grammie taught you this.

You’ve been doing this for a while, but: You will take someone’s hand and move it to indicate what you want them to do.

You’ve been introduced to a baby pool, and you’re getting along famously. But so far you mostly like to play with the hose (and drink from it).

You shake your head “no” to book after book when it’s time to read before a nap or bedtime. This is why there are messy stacks of books on the ottoman in your room, and a few on the floor.

You have absolutely zero fear of the garbage truck.

Your favorite kitchen toys at the moment are a tiny Tupperware container and a springform pan, but you still have great affection for the strainers.

You speed to the dishwasher to help Mama unload it, and you’re tall enough to reach things on the top rack.

You find the vacuum cleaner to be highly amusing and are desperate to touch it when it’s on.

You are more of a parrot every day, and this is why your next word may be “sugar.”

You spent 20 minutes playing with an empty 2-liter soda bottle the other day.

You’ve tried to go to sleep standing up a couple of times, once when Grammie was taking care of you. Boy, was she confused!

You can go down the stairs by sliding on your belly (feet first).

You have discovered slides, and giggle the best possible giggle when going down them. Then you try to climb back up them.

You can step up a small step if you’re holding Mama’s hand.

You still have no interest in ice cream or cake.

You are all about graham crackers.

You are not all about using a spoon, preferring instead to dip the wrong end in your yogurt.

You are 17 months old, and you seem to be teething again which is just ridiculous but whatever, we’ll work with it…

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Mama Dean’s Baby Junk List

Posted in Daily Life, mama life hacks, tagged , , , on July 11, 2013| Leave a Comment »

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Once I started writing a list of baby gear must-haves (here and here) I started thinking about all the stuff we didn’t use and lo, another blog post was conceived.

– Burp cloths. They’re not big enough if your kid is a serious spitter like ours was. Dish towels and cloth diapers were far more useful. Get about a dozen if your baby shows signs of being a puker.

– Receiving blankets. I still don’t understand what they’re for. They’re not really big enough to swaddle with, and you’ll have tons of cute blankets to drape over the kid. Get a 3-pack if you must, and then let me know if you used them, and what for.

– Bath thermometer. That’s what your hand is for. Though those ducks that say “hot” on the bottom if the water is scalding are awfully cute.

– Noisy toys. You know the ones. Lots of screechy songs and buttons and whatnot. Old-school teachers call them “busy boxes.” We have a coulple, and I suppose you can argue that they teach the kid cause and effect and build fine motor skills. But for the most part the way the baby plays with them is pretty mindless, as far as I can tell. Also, they are invariably loud, which pisses me off, because I kind of like the fact that my baby can hear, thanks. Caveat: A handheld “educational” toy can be great for keeping a baby happy in the car. This is why an Elmo counting and colors monstrosity lives in the backseat of my car.

– Microwave sterilizer. While we did use this for a while, our pediatrician told us it wasn’t necessary unless we were using well water or had a preemie.

– Baby grooming set. The comb was sharp, the bulb syringe was useless (they give you a good one in the hospital anyway) and everything else was poor quality. Just get a good pair of baby nail clippers (or scissors) and an adult comb that’s not pokey.

– Pacifiers. They give you the best ones in the hospital (Soothies — ask for extras), and many (including me) say you’re better off ditching them by the 6-month mark.

– Baby journal. We have a really beautiful one with a sweet little bunny on the front. Every two or three months I pull it out, marvel that I’m supposed to print photos to go in it, and put it back in the closet. Disclaimer: If you’re a Project Person, you will love it.

– Wipe warmer. Seriously? Warm them in your hands or armpits if you think the baby can’t deal with a split second of chilliness.

– Footie PJs with snaps. Trust me: At 3 a.m., in the semi-dark (because you don’t want to wake the baby any more than necessary), snap-closure PJs become a Rubik’s Cube made out of fabric With a greased weasel inside. Zippers, my friends. Zippers.

I’m sure there are more I’ll think of as soon as I post this…

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An Unlikely Solution

Posted in Daily Life, mama life hacks, tagged , , , , , , , on July 3, 2013| Leave a Comment »

Friends! Does your baby wake up wet and sad every morning? Are his formerly silky haunches covered in a nasty rash because of it? Are you at your wit’s end trying to think of ways to fix the problem after going up a diaper size, which has never failed to stop leaks in the past?

Well fear no more, because help is here in the form of an old friend:

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That’s right, your old pal the bulky, nasty maxi-pad is here to save the day! Just cut off the wings, slit the back so the pee can get through to the diaper, and voilà! The baby may wake up slightly damp, but your days of flooding will be over!

By the way, they’re also great if your dog has had knee surgery. Super-absorbent and much cheaper than bandaging supplies.

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